Lessons Learned

JudoQueen and JediBoy had a judo tournament this weekend. It was the very first for JB. We were all nervous and excited.

JB had 4 potential opponents (double-elimination). His first match, he did a perfect Ippon Sayonage (EE-pon say-oh-NAH-gee....now you know a little Japanese lol). The match was over in like 5 seconds flat. We were ecstatic!

But then he had to face a boy we know who fights tough--and he lost. He was rattled, even though the weekend before, at a practice, he beat a boy 20lbs heavier. His coach pepped him up and he went out again with a different opponent.

And OH did he fight, tougher than his 6 years. He fought hard the entire length of the match--3 minutes--which doesn't seem long unless you're the one fighting (or the mom watching, holding her breath). The other Judoka won by thismuch. JB was out, and without a medal.

I have long rallied against "medals for everyone" because I think it devalues the idea of competition and learning to lose. But man, it was hard for me to stick to that when I was comforting my sobbing son. With his allergies and asthma, I tend to be a bit more protective. So I swallowed hard and I reminded him what an awesome job he did. How he did his best, and how there were lots of kids who also did their best and still didn't get a medal. I reminded him this was his very first competition and he was still learning.

It took a gentle talking-to from his Sensei to calm him down. In his words, if you can smile when you win, you can smile when you lose.

Today he was absolutely thrilled to find out that many Senseis and coaches from other Dojos had complimented his Sensei about his first Ippon, that they thought it was one of the most perfect throws of the competition, even among the older, more experienced competitors. True praise indeed.

JQ had her own lessons learned. She had to face one of the most talented Joshis, K, in FL. The last time they fought, it was over in seconds. She wound up fighting her 4 times, in regular competition and the "best in show" exhibition. Despite the fact they are the same age, because she admires her, JQ has been too shy to even approach her and say hello. That might sound odd--to befriend your opponents--but that is an important part of her Sensei's teaching. Not just good sportsmanship, but true friendship. At least when you're off the mat ;) The minute the ref calls "Hajime!", it's game on, all alliances off.

JQ was ferocious--she's developed a rather primal roar when she's attacking her hardest. Another opponent did the same during one match and the spectators (myself included) laughed. You just don't mess with the Joshis.

I had a chance to talk to K during one of her breaks and found she is just as I'd heard--sweet, hardworking, easy to talk with. I let her know how shy JQ was, so later she wandered over and they began what I hope to be a long-standing friendship. They were gabbing like any other 13 year old girls--except they were about to go out and kick each other's butts.

In the end, JQ came in second only to K, which is nothing to sneeze at. When it came time for the exhibition matches, they cheered for each other. JQ had to face 1 adult, K had to face 2 adults. We all applauded when K came in first, and even though JQ came in fourth, she was happy. It was some of the finest fighting I've seen her do this year.

Sensei tells the kids that win or lose, you always learn something at a tournament. I'd say both my kids accomplished that.